ANOTHER RAPE! When will this change? Who can bring about the change?

A women was gang raped and her 9 month old baby was thrown out of a moving vehicle, the baby died. This news surfaced few days back, it shook me as it would have many other mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, sisters and brothers. Even after the Nirbhaya verdict of capital punishment, such hideous crimes are still happening at the same alarming rate.

Do these men think they are above law? Do they really think they will not be caught? What I cannot understand is the sick mentality, the desperation, and above all how on earth can someone be so cruel? One person with a such mentality, yes the person must be mentally sick. But when there are multiple such cases with gang rape there is an entire cluster that went wrong. in a group if one does wrong, the others can point finger and guide to the right direction.

The laws need to be more strict, there needs to be agility in action, roads and transportation need to be made safer for women. What good is a nation where half of its man force feels insecure? Yes, numerous changes are required at policy level, judicial level, administration level. But, an even bigger CHANGE is required and that is within us.

Since what has failed, is the entire system. We all need to introspect how we treat boys, whether it is a young boy, a adolescent or a matured man. They need to be told that women are equal, they are not to be abused and this change needs to start from the beginning right from female infanticide to how we bring up our kids.

Most of the well to do families will be like we do not discriminate between our kids, but truth is somewhere unknowingly they do. Yes, most of us do and most of us don’t even realise that we do. Just today when a regular tv serial on Star Plus showed how a newly wed daughter in law should cook food, how her husband was talking to her like she was trapped after marriage; all these reflect how weak women are. I completely disagree with this submissive portrayal but still there are majority of Indian households watching these. These shows get maximum TRP’s, these are the top watched channels, being in media I know how brands want to be associated with these shows and channels and the kind of monies that are involved. The point is if people will not watch these, the ratings should go down and hence there will be no production of such shows, but the sad truth is majority of the population is WATCHING and hence SUPPORTING. You can’t say I watch just like that, am not a keen follower. NO, YOU CAN’T. It’s like crowds these days who watch people being murdered, raped, molested but don’t take action, just take videos to go viral.

There was another article on a popular social media content publishing site, on memes and the meme in question had an abusive word towards women “bh….od”, which today is used like a normal regular word like stupid or idiot. How many of us, our friends use it in their day-day language like its no big thing? The answer is most of us!

There are major issues for which we have laws in place, but there are several minor day- day operational issues which we need to fix.  I am only talking of a so called modern society, people who are living in metros, educated, working in good companies, and are economically stable. If we go further down to people who are in village, who are not well educated certainly the kind of issues women face will multifold. But then I am not addressing this to them its for you and me, eventually city life is what one emulates.

Let’s take a collective responsibility to respect women in our lives. Can we rise above the derogatory words, the cinema where women are objectified, the TV shows where women are depicted as stereotypical vamps or sati- savitris.

Let’s all of us nurture boys who we are proud of, give them opportunity to be educated, teach them to be wise, empathic, and emotional. Teach them the same qualities you would want your daughter to learn.

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